西甲赛场,让我们快来看看歪果仁们的精彩吐槽吧

焦点之战,切尔西3-2阿森纳

Shriek:这次我不会受伤了,因为我的心已经麻木了。(Can’t feel pain if
we’re already numb.)

J_A_Y_x:看看我厂的新后防线,感觉和皇帝的新装差不多吧…(Meet new
Arsenal defending, I think the Emperors new clothes look quite like
this.)

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SleepyDani:看我厂比赛的感觉就像是养孩子,你盼望他能好好学习,但每次都给你带来学渣一样的成绩。但这又能怎样呢,难道还能放弃他咋地?(Watching
arsenal’s match is like when you have a child and you really want him to
be smart but he just keeps bringing Cs and Ds Home, but you know you
can’t and shouldn’t give up on him.)

AyRhu:这么踢下去,埃梅里恐怕12月就得被炒了!估计那时候洛佩特吉也差不多下课了,正好来执教我厂…(Emery
will be out by December if it goes like this, replaced by Lolpetegui who
will be leaving Madrid about same time.)

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JoJnrShabadoo:这么多年一直让阿森纳远离降级区,教授的巨大贡献谁人能知?(Who
knew that Wenger was actually over achieving massively by keeping
Arsenal out the relegation battle?)

off_ice_performance:科瓦契奇这猛一不坐替补席,看来很是不习惯啊…(Kovacic
probably got confused because he wasn’t sitting in the bench.)

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Saichander:莫拉塔去年还是切尔西的托雷斯,但现在已经变成利物浦的托雷斯了!(Morata
was the Chelsea Torres last year now he’s the Liverpool Torres.)

Lookattheclock:埃梅里当然不会满足一场平局!所以他就输给切尔西了…(Emery
didn’t want a draw so he just saw a winning Chelsea.)

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Koassde:阿森纳的问题就在于,他们表现最好的球员,竟然是刚从法乙联赛签来的19岁小将…(Arsenal’s
issue is their best player on the pitch is a 19 year old kid from french
League 2.)

Rompskee:现在想给贝莱林洗白,已经越来越困难了…(Being a Bellerin
apologist is getting harder and harder.)

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厄齐尔进球,阿森纳2-0沃特福德

JJFresh814:我厂这赢球次数多了,段子还真就不好编了…(We are short of
memes if we win too many times…)

Nachoiscool:今年我们能赢得争四联赛的冠军了吧!(We’re winning the
4th place trophy this year.)

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Nyhrox:阿森纳是不是不知道比赛前80分钟也是允许进球的?(Does Arsenal
know they don’t have to wait 80 mins to score goals?)

GetYourDijkOut:永远都不理解阿森纳踢弱队的这种打法,前70分钟就像便秘一样,而最后时刻又瞬间09年巴萨附体了…(Never
understand Arsenal against lower teams, cannot give a shit for 70 mins,
score a goal then turn into 09 Barcelona to end a match.)

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好了,亲爱的小伙伴们,本期的“国外也有段子手”就为大家播报到这了,让我们拭目以待,来看下期歪果仁们更精彩的犀利吐槽吧!

顺利赢球,曼城3-0哈镇

Bobskidat:这不公平!你们怎么能让一个镇去踢一座城呢?(This is unfair
you can’t have a city play a town.)

BiologicalMigrant:曼城的进球集锦,总是需要在进球5分钟之前就开始播放才行…(City’s
goals always need the 5 minutes highlight of play beforehand :-D.)

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逆转取胜,拜仁2-1塞维利亚

BESTNBAGOAT:到现在我也难以相信,蒙特拉竟然在带队踢欧冠1/4决赛…(I
can’t believe Vincenzo Montella is playing quarter final in Champions
League.)

图片 9

PineappleExpress98:每次看塞维利亚比赛的时候,那表现也像是个强队,但为啥球队前锋的临门一脚总是这么坑爹呢?(Every
time I watch Sevilla play they look like a top team until they have to
take their chances. It’s weird that almost every player on that team
can’t finish for the life of them.)

dedem13:是啊,我看阿森纳比赛的时候也是这么想的!(Yeah, it’s the
same as what I thought watching Arsenal’s game.)

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SerieAnalyst:你们怎么不提进乌龙球的事啊…(how did you manage not to
mention the own goal?)

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晋级欧联杯8强,阿森纳3-1 AC米兰

Hjuretzer:总比分5-1晋级,拜仁一定会为你们感到骄傲的!(5-1 on
aggregate. Bayern would be half proud of you.)

DashingPhonyRhodes:第3回合我们一定能赢!希望米兰能适应重回欧战的感觉…(3rd
leg is OURS, hopefully we can get used to return in Europe.)

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Mesinbasuh:反正多特已经被淘汰了,现在我们能不能在欧联杯上让奥巴梅杨出场了…(with
dortmund out, can we play aubameyang in the europa league now pls.)

Malikdwd:过去两年踢这么烂,其实是教授为了迷惑AC米兰而专门下的一步大棋!(Playing
very badly over two years was Wenger’s strategy to confuse Milan.)

图片 13

好了,亲爱的小伙伴们,本期的“国外也有段子手”就为大家播报到这了,让我们下期不见不散!

小伙伴们大家好,欢迎来到每周的“国外也有段子手”!上周的欧洲赛场精彩看点层出不穷,马竞战胜皇马勇夺欧洲超级杯,切尔西赢下了与阿森纳的焦点之战,曼联爆冷输球,而曼城、巴萨等球队则纷纷顺利取胜。好了,话不多说,让我们快来看看歪果仁们的精彩吐槽吧!

图片 14

小伙伴们大家好,欢迎来到每周的“国外也有段子手”!上周的欧洲赛场精彩看点层出不穷,阿森纳赢下了和切尔西的焦点之战,利物浦逆转取胜继续领跑,曼联取得连胜,曼城、巴萨、皇马等球队也纷纷获得胜利。好了,话不多说,让我们快来看看歪果仁们的精彩吐槽吧!

领先两球被逆转,曼城2-3曼联

KK-Chocobo:是不是弗爵爷在中场休息的时候,跑到更衣室里去踢曼联球员的屁股了?(Did
Alex Furguson go into the changing room and kick butt at half time?)

vicote91:这场比赛,曼城的表现只不过是一支烧石油的水晶宫而已…(I
think this match City are basically just an oil-powered Crystal Palace.)

图片 15

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Kreygasm2233:要是曼城在接下来的比赛里都不赢球了怎么办…(What if they
never win again?)

Easily_Baked:眼看要输这么惨,穆帅一定是在中场休息时承诺球员们如果赢球就去请客做最高级的染发!(Thought
we lost at HT but Jose must have promised the lads a proper SAF
hairdryer treatment during the break.)

图片 17

four_four_three:博格巴开启了染发的超能力模式!(Pogba ACTIVATED
THE HAIR’S SPECIAL POWERS.)

EmergencyCredit:这一定是得到了超级赛亚人的真传!(it was inspired by
the Super Saiyan transformation…)

图片 18

卢卡库马蒂奇进球,曼联2-0布莱顿

PureExcuse:今天对切尔西球迷来说,可不是好日子…(Today has not been a
good day for us Chelsea fans…)

图片 19

JoeyBulgaria:想象一个拥有卢卡库、阿扎尔、德布劳内和萨拉赫的前场,岂不是强无敌了…(Imagine
a front 4 of Lukaku/Hazard/KdB/Salah, they’d never lose.)

Rangerofthewest:而且后面跟着马蒂奇,当然还有马塔…(Matic behind
them, also Mata is there.)

图片 20

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小伙伴们大家好,欢迎来到每周的“国外也有段子手”!上周的欧洲赛场精彩看点层出不穷:切尔西与利物浦握手言和,曼联输给西汉姆联,而阿森纳和曼城则顺利取胜。西甲赛场,巴萨战平毕包,连续三轮不胜;而皇马则与马竞互交白卷,再次错失登顶良机。好了,话不多说,让我们快来看看歪果仁们的精彩吐槽吧!

博格巴拉师傅进球,曼联2-1布莱顿

Freshsalsadip:除非卢卡库减肥50公斤,否则还是不要首发了吧!(Lukaku
cannot get back into this team start line unless he loses 50 kilos.)

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IamFanboy:说实话,最后10分钟看得我都快把翔拉裤子里了…(Not going to
lie I was pretty much shitting my pants in the last 10 minutes.)

Idontlikethisstuff:曼联能把穆里尼奥再请回来吗?现在一点都不好玩…(Can
Man utd bring back mourinho pls? This is no fun.)

图片 23

维尔贝克两球,阿森纳3-2南安普顿

Juhmazing:那踢球就像喝醉酒的长颈鹿的维尔贝克,竟然也能时不时传出个好球了?(Even
Welbeck who strikes the ball like a drunk giraffe with vertigo makes a
beautiful pass every now and then.)

mustache_dad:我竭力说服了自己,刚才看的90分钟确实是一场真实的比赛…(I
tried to persuade myself what we just watched for 90 minutes technically
counts as a real football match.)

图片 24

JavBG17:当有人问我世界最佳球员是谁时,我说是梅西,因为维尔贝克根本就不属于地球!(When
people ask me who I think the best player in the world is I say Messi,
because Welbeck is clearly not from this earth.)

GhostOfCaesar:真遗憾啊,霍金教授还没有破解维尔贝克之谜就不幸去世了!(What
a pity Professor Hawking died before he could explain Danny Welbeck.)

图片 25

Bears-Eat_Beets:裁判心里明白,对阿森纳最不利的判罚,其实就是确保威尔希尔一直能在场上踢球!(The
ref knew that the real punishment for Arsenal would be to keep Wilshere
on and make sure he can play.)

IfYouRun:其实南安普顿球迷们还是值得高兴一下的,起码今年夏天利物浦不会再来买你们的球员了…(On
the bright side for Southampton fans, at least Liverpool aren’t going to
buying any of your players this summer…)

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萨拉赫大四喜,利物浦5-0沃特福德

NickDootex:我们能…能…能借萨拉赫回来么?就两场比赛就行,打怪兽用…(Can…
can… can we just get him back? Only for two matches against a
monster?)

XPLJESUS:大兄弟,要是能回借,我们早就借了….(Forget it, we would
have got him back if possible.)

图片 27

Computer_User_01:你们最大的错误,就是把萨拉赫当成普通人类来对待!(Your
first mistake was assuming Salah was normal human.)

Tsubasa_sama:哈哈,萨拉赫今天可是超级赛亚人!(Lol salah went super
saiyan today.)

图片 28

Pzrapnbeast:大家好,我在关塔那摩监狱里关了4年,昨天才被放出来,我想问梅西啥时候改名叫萨拉赫了!(Hi
I was in Guantanamo prison for the last four years and just got free
yesterday. When did Messi change his name to Salah?)

Theenigmacode:呵呵,梅西进过沃特福德4个球吗?(Well, did Messi ever
score 4 goals against Watford?)

图片 29

Choky:有人知道萨拉赫还是单身么,我想给自己招个亲…不是单身也没关系,我也知道他可以合法娶好几个媳妇儿的…(Does
anyone know if Salah is single? Asking for myself this time! It’s ok if
not , I know it’s halal to have more than one wife for him!)

Xrscx:我已经给我的每个孩子都起名叫穆罕默德了…(Every single one of
my children will be named Mohamed.)

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Haze95:如果我发现萨拉赫正在和我媳妇儿嘿咻,那我一定会再递给萨拉赫点伟哥!(If
I walked in on Salah in bed with my missus I’d grab him some
aphrodisiac.)

Superwindex:你永远不会独自X高潮!(You’ll never cum alone!)

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Witcher94:欧冠联赛能重新抽个签么…(Champions league redraw
please…)

NN345:英超各球队不如众筹把萨拉赫买下来吧,然后把他送到中国,或者其他越远越好的地方…(Premier
league clubs should pitch in together to buy mo salah and send him to a
chinese club or somewhere far away enough.)

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Psychotic_Bear:我们出生的时代刚刚好,见证了法老王的复活!(born
just in time to witness the return of the pharaohs.)

7098698086:每次萨拉赫进球,我就觉得自己死去多一点,现在我正在看在哪家教堂举办葬礼呢…(Everytime
Salah scores a part of me dies. Now I am looking for a church to hold my
funeral.)

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